One of the first (and best) pieces of advice that I was given when I got engaged last November was from my sister Jen, who was recently married. She said, “Beth, be prepared for anyone and everyone to give you their opinion. People will give you all sorts of ideas and opinions, but you don’t have to listen, just do what you want to do, but be gracious and thankful for their advice.” One of the first congratulatory e-mails I received was from her and it said, “No matter how stressed you get planning or mad or excited always remember why you have that ring -You love Geoff and he is going to be your hubby. I love you beth and remember that I’ll help with all I can and back off when I am suppose too. :)” This advice is something that I think about when I feel overwhelmed by people trying to “help”. I really have to say that I’ve been lucky..I haven’t been completely bombarded with everyone else’s thoughts and comments [crossing my fingers...knocking on wood].
Being a bride myself, I know how important it is to make your wedding “your own” and keep your “identity.” While this IS important, that doesn’t mean that we should discount our loved one’s advice. I know after a while it gets to be overwhelming, but if we just take a minute to relax and really listen to what they say, then we might just learn something new or really get a “helping hand”. If the advice is completely whacko, like, “Oh my gosh, you should totally get those roses that they spray paint blue and then decorate your reception with matching blue ribbons and blue garland and sprinkle blue feathers and blue angel dust all over and paint your nails blue…you know…to go with the “something blue” theme!!!!” Yeeeeeeeah…just go ahead, smile, and say, “thanks so much, I will keep that in mind!” (You can of course do a mental eye roll while saying that statement!) Whoever would give you that awful advice will still think you are the sweetest bride & their feelings will never have been hurt. PERFECT!
You are probably going to be approached by a lot of family & friends offering to help out as well. This is not necessarily a bad thing. When I first started planning our wedding, I was okay on my own & didn’t really feel like I needed any assistance. Now that there are only FOUR MONTHS until our wedding day, I am feeling a little more stressed out about “our big day”. I have become more open to having my bridal party & family members help out. My sister has been looking into DJ’s & one of my best friends has been checking out salons! This is what we, as brides, have to think about… We chose these women to be in our bridal party for a reason: We TRUST them…they know us. If I trust my MOH & bridesmaids, then why shouldn’t I have them help me check out DJ’s, salons, or venues? Think about it! I used to find myself dismissing their offer, but not anymore…no way. I need the help! I’m too busy to plan a wedding alone. I know some of you might not feel that way now, but you will!
So, the next time your mom says, “Honey, I don’t think you should do that…” or your sister says, “Well at my wedding I…” or your first cousin says, “Hey! Have you ever thought about having a foam machine at the reception…,” just remember: Keep your cool. Be gracious and remember…You have your ring, your fiance loves you, and he is going to be your hubby…that’s what it’s all about!
Congrats Ladies!
-Soon-to-be Mrs. P
(Photo by the extraordinary ericamay photography www.ericamay.com)